Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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