you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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