what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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