i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
