3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
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They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
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He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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