it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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