on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
