he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
