I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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