So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
vagina is talking i cant
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Green mimosas i think yes
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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