Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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