We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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