Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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