Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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