I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
