"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
