I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
either way he was missing a nipple.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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