The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
