the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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