you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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