Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
