how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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