Who wears a wallet chain?!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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