Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I look better un-naked...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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