When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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