My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
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