FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
