hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
