i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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