Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
