I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
