So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
