im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
