How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Are we still banned from the library?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
