The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
