so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
