that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
