I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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