I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
