her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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