Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
