i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
