He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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