I got chris browned last night
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
