If i come over, it means nothing
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
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Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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