Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So here I am, sexting at work.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
