I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
