awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
