I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
