How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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