I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
