WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
