dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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