I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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