I'm really into asian looking animals
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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