Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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