Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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