i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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