why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
