Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
