party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
